I take my hat off to people who clean for a living. It’s bad enough cleaning up after yourself – never mind having to clean other people’s mess and dirt. It’s certainly not a glamorous profession. It requires hard work, endurance, stamina and sometimes even courage. In fact, there are times when I think cleaners deserve hazard pay, as they can get into some rather tricky, uncomfortable and embarrassing situations when performing their duties.

Yet, despite this, some cleaners go above and beyond in their pursuit of cleanliness. They are the ones who take their jobs so seriously that they are willing to risk it all… like the sweet lady who cleans for my parents. Now, my parents have a rather old-fashioned bath and shower combo. It’s a bathtub with shower doors around the edges that slide open and closed on runners. They are heavy, cumbersome things and it’s not really pretty or functional. I mean, you can get a workout just trying to move those things! So my parents’ cleaner was rather brave when she decided to climb into the bath to clean it one day. And, I’m afraid to say, the poor lady got stuck! She simply couldn’t open those ridiculous shower doors once she had closed them. As a result, she had inadvertently locked herself in bathtub prison – doomed to clean forever and ever…

If that wasn’t bad enough, my mom happened to be out that day and my dad doesn’t hear as well as he should. So her cries for help probably went unheard. But thank goodness for modern technology, because this resourceful cleaner was able to whip out her cellphone and promptly call her brother. Fortunately, her brother works nearby and he was able to come over and knock on my parents’ door. I can only imagine my dad’s surprise when he learned that the cleaner was stuck in the bath… or is it a shower… hmm… maybe it’s a weird spaceship. Anyway, the dear lady was subsequently rescued and I’m pretty sure she will never be that enthusiastic to clean my parents’ bathroom ever again – with good reason!

Talking of being enthusiastic, I personally experienced the full zeal of the cleaner at work once. On that specific day, I went to work wearing a smart black suit. No sooner had I arrived there, when I unexpectedly felt someone swatting my posterior. I jumped around to find the cleaner who seemed to think she was doing me a huge favour. There was some fluff stuck to my trousers in a less than desirable spot and she was determined to get rid of it. And, while I appreciated the thought behind her actions, it’s rather awkward to get your butt dusted by someone else when you’re a grown woman. I suddenly felt like a five-year-old again! After all, aren’t the cleaners supposed to clean the offices and not the staff!? Now that’s taking it to the next level. Ten points for making sure everything was clean – and I mean everything! Yikes!

But, when it comes to cleaning, the embarrassing moments are aplenty… and it goes both ways. My cousin used to work long hours and he would have a cleaner come in, from time to time, to clean his place. Now, I guess this lady was used to him being away from morning till evening, so she would make herself ‘at home’. Of course, it’s important to be comfortable when doing your job, but it’s probably best not to get too comfortable. Otherwise, you might get a nasty surprise when you least expect it… like when my cousin decided to come home early one day. He walked into the house and found the cleaner washing the floors in her underwear! Apparently, she was hot and wanted to cool down a bit, which is all very well when you’re home alone. My cousin (who is a decent guy) didn’t know where to look. And the cleaner was so shocked that she simply wrapped her arms around herself and cried out in dismay, “Oh sir! Oh sir! Oh sir!”. Yip, it was super embarrassing for both of them!

There’s no denying that cleaning is a hazardous job. In fact, these stories probably don’t even scratch the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the situations that cleaners find themselves in. I’m sure there are lots of people who have some very interesting stories to tell. So remember to be kind to cleaners. Dusting butts, getting stuck in spaceships and being caught in the buff aren’t exactly items on anyone’s bucket list – even if it’s your job to mop up the mess!

© 2021 Audrey Whyte   All Rights Reserved