You’re either a cat person or a dog person… and I’m definitely a dog person. When it comes to pets, I like friendly and cuddly. I don’t need some high-strung animal walking around my house looking down its nose at me. I want the kind of pet that’s going to love me unconditionally… not bite the hand that feeds it.

But, hey! Some people like having an independent pet or the challenge of winning over a cat’s affection. And that’s all very well until you find yourself  living in close quarters to your neighbours and – you guessed it – their pets.

Now dogs are generally fine, because they are fairly easy to contain. However, cats like to roam free – and by that I mean they have no qualms inviting themselves into other people’s homes. You’ll just be going along minding your own business when you turn around and jump out of your skin, because there’s a cat sitting there staring at you. And it’s not your cat.

The first cat to make our home its own was His Royal Highness Mr Baggy – and that’s really what it said on his name tag. I’m not being sarcastic. We liked Mr Baggy. He was fairly affectionate and he knew his place when he came visiting. In other words, he didn’t climb all over my furniture which, in my opinion, is good etiquette – especially for uninvited pets.

However, Mr Baggy was a passionate cat. As soon as you gave him any kind of attention, he would go a little berserk. If you stroked him, he wanted to be stroked more. He would practically knock you over as he rammed into you and rubbed himself against your legs. He would even end up bashing into cupboard doors in the violence of his affection. And if you teased him, he would turn into catzilla. There was a time when both my husband and I had to jump onto the couch to evade Mr Baggy as he lashed out with his claws and paws. But that didn’t stop my husband from teasing him some more.

We were enjoying Mr Baggy’s visits until black cat Diesel arrived on the scene. He strolled in with his cute StarPaws name tag, jumped around on all my furniture and then went to sleep on a black chair. He was sleeping there when Mr Baggy arrived one day and we were curious to see what would happen when they spotted each other. Naturally, we assumed that the passionate Mr Baggy would send docile Diesel running, but they merely regarded each other with indifference. Although, Mr Baggy never came back again after that day – and Diesel had found himself a permanent napping spot.

Diesel seemed nice and placid until I interrupted his sleep one day. He ran into the house and onto his chair just as I was about to go out. So, I went to pick him up to take him outside, but he wasn’t going without a fight. The little monster tried to bite me every time I moved my hands near him… and then I got scared.

I called my husband and groaned about my predicament. After laughing at his silly wife for being afraid of a little cat, he told me to be assertive and just pick it up. So, I picked up the chair, carried it to the door with some effort and tipped Diesel out. He slid off the chair, despite his best attempts to hold on, and then looked at me with disgust. “Sorry, Diesel!” I said as I quickly closed the door in his face. Yeah! Victory is mine!

What ensued was a battle of wills… and open and closed doors. I would try to block his access to the house and, ultimately, fail. Diesel would rush in and grab his chair. Sometimes, I would be sitting on it and then he would prance around and pounce on it as soon as I stood up for a moment. He would nip at me and bite my toes and I would end up threatening, “Just you wait until my husband comes home. He will show you who’s boss” as I ran away in terror. And then Diesel would lie on his chair and sleep all day… and be such a sweet, docile cat when my husband came home.

I thought I had eventually managed to get rid of Diesel as he disappeared for a few months. We assumed he had found another home that was serving free food. And then, my husband came home from work the other day. He hugged me and said, “What’s that?”. I looked around expecting to see something mundane, but what I spotted on the floor behind him made me jump out of my skin again. Diesel was back… sitting… staring… waiting to strike. And so the battle of wills continues in the StarPaws saga.

© 2019 Audrey Whyte   All Rights Reserved