I can’t imagine a world without socks. Socks are just such useful things. Not only do they keep your feet warm, but they also keep your feet clean and make it a lot more pleasant to wear closed shoes. Of course, some people like to wear shoes without socks, but I’m not a fan of that – and why would you want to deprive a poor sock of its job anyway?

Socks are also really diverse. Just think about it. They come in all sorts of colours, shapes and sizes – from being bold and bright to plain and dull, super long, extra short, really big, teeny tiny, and some even look like gloves with a separate section for each toe. In short, socks are not so different from people, as they each have their own unique ‘personality’. The inherent difference is that all socks are twins – and we all know that twins are renowned for being naughty.

Hence, it’s not surprising that socks are also cheeky, disobedient things. They are stubbornly independent (despite the fact that they come in pairs) and are prone to endless wanderlust. In short, you can never find them when you want them (or, more often, you can only find one and not the other) and sometimes they even disappear entirely and never return.

Ah yes! I’m talking about Sock Land – the mysterious world that errant socks run off to without any warning. And any sock can disappear to Sock Land at any time.

Sock Land has kept humans intrigued ever since the first electric washing machine came into existence in the early nineteen hundreds. It’s evident that there is some sort of hidden portal inside every washing machine that enables socks to go to Sock Land. However, this magical gateway is a closely guarded secret that socks keep to themselves. As a result, we mere mortals have yet to figure it out. But, I have a theory…

I recently discovered that one of the first electric-powered washing machines was called the ‘Thor’. Coincidence? I think not. Hence, I don’t believe it would be too much of a stretch to suggest that, perhaps, Sock Land isn’t here on Earth at all, but rather on Asgard. Who knows? Maybe Thor decided they needed more socks on Asgard, so he opened up an intergalactic portal that gives socks a one-way ticket to outer space.

Of course, this begs the question: Why do socks go to Sock Land?

Well, firstly, there’s no doubt that we abuse them. We stretch them, poke holes in the toes and wear them until they are threadbare and broken. If that’s not bad enough, we constantly mismatch them with the wrong partners and expect them to be happy. These factors alone should be enough to send any sock to Sock Land.

However, I think one of the main reasons for a sock’s sudden departure can be attributed to their wanderlust – and I’m not just talking about the desire to travel. Ironically, a synonym for wanderlust is ‘itchy feet’, which kind of puts things into perspective and makes you wonder. After all, would you like to spend all day on someone’s stinky, sweaty, itchy and possibly even dirty feet? Yeah, me neither!

So, next time you get mad at your sock for leaving you and running off to Sock Land, stop and ponder this question for a minute. If you were a sock and the Thor – or one of his many descendants – gave you a one-way ticket to outer space, would you take it?

© 2017 Audrey Whyte   All Rights Reserved