There’s a saying which states that “you can’t choose your family…” and I think the same is true for neighbours. Sure, you may not like them, but for all intents and purposes, you’re stuck with them. (This applies to both your family and your neighbours just to be clear.)

Of course, family is pretty much a lifetime connection (whether you actually see them or not), while neighbours tend to come and go. This is rather a tricky scenario, because one month you could have the best neighbours in the world and, the next month, you could be planning to relocate yourself.

When we moved into our current house, we were candidly told by the old doll, who lives next door, that “We stick to ourselves around here”. She didn’t even bother to make any small talk first. What a friendly, warm welcome to the neighbourhood and hello to you too! But, at least, she came out to greet us, which is more than I can say for our other neighbours.

Fast forward several years, and we found ourselves suddenly acquiring new neighbours on the other side. One day, there was a quiet, unassuming, middle-aged lady living next door and the next thing we knew, she’d been replaced by a tree hugger and a lumberjack. Okay, that’s not technically accurate. I just call them that because the wife really, really likes plants and the husband never stops drilling.

I don’t think he’s stopped drilling in the walls since they moved in – and that was two years ago! Every couple of days, we get to enjoy those wonderfully familiar, reverberating sounds of him drilling away on the other side of our adjoining wall. Seriously, I’m surprised he even has anywhere left to drill. I imagine their walls must be covered from floor to ceiling with shelving and knick-knacks – and, if the outside of their house is anything to go by, then I’m probably not far off the mark.

Honestly, I’ve never seen anyone turn a concrete jungle into an actual jungle, but I guess there’s a first for everything. The wife has put so many pot plants in their driveway, it’s a wonder her husband even manages to get his car into the garage. Not to mention that if you want to get to the front door, you’d better plan a safari and take a machete. There are vines, creepers, hanging baskets, pot plants, wall features, decorations and fairy lights everywhere.

In fact, if you’re brave enough to take a safari to their front door at night-time, you don’t even have to pack a torch, because there are enough fairy lights between the plants to spot their house from outer space – and the fairy lights stay up all year long!

Don’t get me wrong. They are lovely people. I’m just not a fan of clutter and they take clutter to a whole new level.

That said, there may be some method to their madness. In this country, you can never be too cautious when it comes to crime. So, it would make sense to barricade all your doors behind a dense mass of foliage. I can’t foresee any burglar making a quick exit out of their house without being tripped up by a strategically placed creeper and subsequently stumbling around for days trying to escape their jungle. Plus, with all the drilling that goes on, I’m sure they have plenty of peepholes now to keep tabs on the outer world. You know what they say… forewarned is forearmed.

Yet, when all is said and done, there are far worse neighbours out there and I really can’t complain – even if the sporadic drilling grates on my nerves. Neighbours are not eternal companions and you never know who you’ll get next. Better the neighbour you know…

© 2017 Audrey Whyte   All Rights Reserved