Green fingers do not run in my family. This is rather unfortunate, since we love to try our luck anyway – and we are never lucky. In fact, if plants had legs, I think I’d see them all screaming and running away as fast as they could. However, it seems my poor plants are stuck with me.

You know that concept of keeping a plant happy, then you can have a pet and if you can keep your pet happy, you can have a child? Well, I’m still trying to get the plant thing right and the prospects aren’t looking good. Although, in my opinion, pets and kids must surely be easier than plants, because I can’t even keep a cactus happy!

Still, beyond all odds, I love to garden. There’s just something so calming and soothing about sitting on the grass and digging in the dirt. In fact, there have even been studies to prove that the microbes in soil can make you happier. In addition, scientists are now researching the therapeutic benefits of gardening, as this activity can calm your nerves and reduce stress. Plus, the fresh air and some sunshine are always a welcome change when you find yourself office-bound all week.

So, there are many benefits to gardening – even if your plants don’t particularly like you.

On that note, I must state that my poor success rate in the garden is not from a lack of trying. I am persistent if nothing else – and a little ambitious too. Hence, it shouldn’t be all that surprising to hear that I had the ingenious revelation to start a vegetable garden towards the end of last year. So what if I forget to water my cactus from one month to the next. How hard can a vegetable garden really be?

After talking to a few informed gardeners, I was assured that there was nothing to it. All I had to do was build a veggie box, throw some soil into it, plant my seeds, water them and voila! Oh, and don’t forget to spray for bugs from time to time.

Well, I had a veggie box built, threw some soil into it, planted my seeds, watered them and even talked nicely to them and… nothing! Okay, that’s not entirely true. I got something – a few, tiny green shoots that you needed a magnifying glass to see. My seeds sprouted beautifully, but then they just looked at me – and I looked back at them. What more did they want?

Seriously! I did my bit, couldn’t they do theirs? All they had to do was grow, but no! That was asking too much. So, I went back to the drawing board and asked more questions, but I’m afraid to say that when people start talking about soil content and pH levels, my brain shuts down. Where’s the fun in that?

So, I chucked some organic fertilizer and Epsom salts onto my veggie patch, planted more seeds, watered them, talked ever so sweetly to them and voila! I got a few green beans, three cucumbers, a baby carrot and the most beautiful, perfect, little baby butternut. Success! And then some of the plants died on me…

Yup! I am not a gardener, but it doesn’t matter. With some more trial and error, I know I’ll eventually get it right – and who cares if I’m still trying to grow summer vegetables in the middle of winter. My veggies don’t grow anyway.

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