There are two types of people in this world – sweet and savoury. You either have a sweet tooth (like me) or you tend to prefer salty, savoury snacks. I’m pretty sure this is a fact of life that forms part of our genetic make-up and, as a result, we have absolutely no sway over who we’ll be. When you’re born, you either pop out as a chocolate chip cookie or as a salty cracker and that’s that.
From as far back as I can remember, I have always loved sugar – maybe a little more than most. What can I say? I have an inherently sweet tooth and a love of all things squishy and spongy. Yes, chocolate is tasty, but give me a scrumptious, moist cake or gooey, fudgy pudding and I’m in seventh heaven. Sugar is just oh-so-nice!
That said, I must admit that I think salty crackers are lucky. I’m not sure what drives a salty cracker, but there’s a relentless sugar monster living inside every chocolate chip cookie – a monster that becomes increasingly more demanding and difficult to satisfy as the years go by. Ask any person with a sweet tooth and they’ll tell you it’s true.
Incidentally, I made the mistake of letting my sugar monster out of its cage, in my early twenties, when I left home after school and went to England. Midnight feasts quickly became a habit as my friend and I consumed vast quantities of toast with chocolate spread, cookie dough, biscuits and Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. (Oh man! Ben and Jerry’s ice cream is just ridiculously good!)
This habit continued for several years until I hit my late twenties. It was then that my metabolism decided it was going to put a stop to my sugar monster. Instead of being able to eat whatever I wanted without any consequences, I suddenly began to gain weight whenever I just looked at a cake. Ah, yes! A sugar tax is not just something you pay to the government and your waistline can make you do an audit too.
This cruel twist of fate resulted in a decision to be a bit more health conscious. So, I beat the sugar monster back into its cage and made a lifestyle change. This included learning about the hazards of sugar consumption. In truth, the more I discover about the health implications of consuming too much sugar, the less my brain likes it. The facts are scary and I can absolutely believe that sugar is more addictive than cocaine or heroin – especially when the nagging, little sugar monster still dares to whisper, “But sugar is oh-so-nice”.
Honestly, I’ve tried to change my eating habits and go sugar free, but it’s a constant battle. Cake seems to haunt me everywhere I go and there is no escaping it. There’s an endless round of birthday parties at work and among friends – not to mention the kitchen teas, baby showers and dinner parties. I just have to walk past a cake display at a restaurant or a shop for the sugar monster to start rattling its cage. And, when you’ve had a particularly tough week, it’s hard to ignore the little voice inside that insists a sugary treat will make it all better.
So, am I a sugar addict? Of course not! Do I have one living inside me? You bet! And every now and then, it escapes from its cage and goes on a rampant sugar binge without any regard for the apparent consequences. What’s that saying? ‘You can’t teach an old monster new tricks’ – and a sugar monster is a particularly stubborn, senseless, little beast. Yet, with all the sugar it’s consumed over the years, you really can’t blame the sugar monster for having several holes in its teeth and a gaping hole in its head. But, what does that matter when “sugar is oh-so-nice”.
Audrey Whyte 
Leave a comment